Summer Loving, Happened So Fast?

Graduation came and went. Holy moly. It was a whirlwind of a day and so emotional. I am so thankful though that I was able to find my forever friends in Z and E before I graduated. It was bittersweet having to move out of an apartment from them and live in different places but we have made it work and nothing can stand between us.

So after graduation I had about four weeks until I was off to camp. Those four weeks were relaxing but also such a whirlwind. I took hold of my new found single hood and ran with it. I went on so many dates, about 15 is what my girlfriends and I figured out.

It was very eye opening. I kind of figured out what I like and what I want. I also realized the dating game is a rough and scary place. It is so fast paced and very cut throat. It is also a very cold place, a lot of the guys I ran into weren't really looking for dating or a relationship. It was sad to find out most of them just wanted one dinner or coffee date, wanted to sleep with me and bust out. I was not about that life after the second or third encounter of that. 

I just grin and barred it after that and realized I would be going off to camp in a few weeks where I could focus on what I love and helping inspire campers to push themselves more in their arts.

Camp was a nice distraction and it turned out to be one of my favorite summers. I rekindled old friendships and also made some new strong friendships. Everyone this past summer touched my heart and made an impression in my life.

I know I talk about camp a lot but it's such a wonderful place and a place where I grew and found out who I could truly be. Some may not understand it but once you find that place that just feels comfortable you'll understand. I wish I could live there and keep all the lovely people around me but then if I did that the magic wouldn't be there anymore. I have to take what I can get and cherish it until I grow old.

But man that summer love, it was....interesting. So it started with the string of boys and me feeling out the dating world but then things took a turn. Not a bad turn but not a great turn really either. I think I'll wait to delve into that next chapter because it's a crazy rollercoaster that will take a bit of write out.

Until next time darlings

XOXO

ZMH

Oh Hey, I Didn't See You There

My goodness has it been a long time. Sorry about just dropping off the face of the earth but that seems to be the theme with this blog. I try really hard for a short time to post regularly and then something comes up and everything stops. 

I've never aspired to be a super successful blogger but I have always found writing and publishing very therapeutic. Through my writings I try to be as transparent as possible and hope that maybe my posts help someone through something they are going through.

Geeze I don't even know where to begin from the last time I left off. A lot has happened in my life and a lot has changed. So let's see, I went to camp again and it was one of my favorite summers back. I had such a wonderful staff in my unit and my co-unit directors slayed this summer. 

I left camp with a boyfriend (GASP! What wait what happened to R? I'll get to that). Camp boyfriend was a long time friend that we decided to date, long story short not my smartest move but we are still friends because we were that close. Anyway we moved together down to Chicago to start adult-ing and it went well for a while and then things went down hill quickly. 

I had a big girl job but was starting to feel lonely, stressed, and get sick. I was not healthy physically or mentally so I made the hard decision to move back to Michigan with my dad. I'm back in the mitten state for a few months while I collect myself and get a better game plan to move down to Chicago. 

Dear lord, a lot has happened. The next couple posts I'll delve more into what happened, how I'm doing, and what my plans are. For now this blog will be a way for me to sort through my feelings and thoughts. It may not be very exciting but maybe this will help someone out there? Really this is more for me and if people want to read and support along the way that would make me so happy. There will be photos when I have them and maybe some other goodies.

So this post has a lot of loose ends hanging and I apologize but you will just have to wait for more posts to come to get the blanks filled in on how my life has progressed. 

Until next time darlings

XOXO

ZMH

Summer Loving

           So let me apologize in advanced for not blogging at all this summer. I knew I would be super busy at camp but I thought I would have had a little time to keep you all updated. Unfortunately that was very wrong. But now I am back and will try to fill you in with everything I learned and experienced this summer.

            I worked as a camp counselor at Blue Lake Fine Arts camp up in Twin Lake, MI. I was there from early June until just a couple days ago. I was there for two whole months but I definitely did not feel that long. My summer sped by in a blink of the eye. I am so sad that it is done but I cannot wait to come back for next summer!

            Blue Lake has four twelve-day sessions for kids to come and explore their art, band, orchestra, dance, theater, or singing. The first two sessions were high schoolers and the last two sessions were middle schoolers. Every kid I interacted with changed me in some way or I helped him or her find out more about themselves.

            I was in a cluster of cabins called West Point. At Blue Lake all the cabins are named after some sort of artist and the cabins are clumped into units with a total theme. Our unit was called West Point because when West Point was built it was the western most point of camp. All of our cabins were named after famous male authors, why didn’t they name this GIRLS unit after famous women authors you got me. Our cabins were Sandburg, Michener, Hemmingway, Frost, Baldwin, and Faulkner.

           

            Now my unit’s staff was the best ever. I bonded with those girls and formed friendships that will hopefully last for a very long time. We all loved each other so much and lets just say Niagara Falls was present on the last day of camp in our unit. I can’t believe that I don’t get to see those lovely ladies everyday for the rest of the year. It is the saddest thing.

            So that kind of gives you a brief over view of camp this summer. Down below are some photos of my fellow staff members and I.I hope to write a few more blog posts about camp as the days go on. I just have so much to share that if I were to include it all in one post it would be twenty pages long.

XOXO

            ZMH

The lovely Blue Lake beach.

Staff Dance Ensamble

Meg and I 

This picture perfectly describes Claire and I's relationship.

All the lovely counselors of West Point minus our unit director.

XOXO

ZMH

Regrets

I feel like most people have a few regrets throughout their life. You know their usually simple ones like not snapping up that cute pice of clothing when you had the chance or having that second piece of cake before exercising, both of these situations I have been in.

Now those aren't really the regrets I'm having. I go through some little mood swings at times of stress or when I just feel like life isn't going right. I have come to the conclusion these bad and sad moods come about when the weather isn't great out despite me loving that gloomy, rainy weather. 

Yesterday I took a day trip with my dad to Chicago. We both wanted to go before I had to go to camp for work and we also were due for a daddy/daughter date. It was such a great day but sadly it was pretty rainy all day and a little chilly. Now we both knew it was going to rain so we brought umbrellas but it was just much worse then we expected. Overall like I said before a great day but then today was still pretty gloomy here in Holland and having both days back to back kind of set me off.

When I get in my depressed/sad mood it generally happens at night before I go to bed and I start thinking about things which leads me to my eyes filled with tears and lots of snot.

Now tonight I had on my mind of not wanting to go to camp because that meant I had to go back to college. I don't want to go back because my grades aren't doing great and I am super stressed. I also am not in love with where I am going but that's another problem that is linked to not being in love with Holland, I just don't belong here. That lead to me starting to be unhappy with my relationship. Now that's a huge, big problem that has come up recently but I will post another time about that because it is just a huge thing.

Overall I cried myself dry, bundled up, went downstairs, and turned on the TV. I have relaxed a bit and am feeling much better. I though a quick post about these little problems would help and also make me realize I am very blessed to be where I am in life and must take everything in stride.

XOXO
ZMH

Spring Break

So today marks the second week back from spring break. These last few days have gone by so fast and I love it and also kind of hate it. I now have 4 weeks left of my sophomore year as a college student which is terrifying and exciting. I am happy the year is almost done because then I can start on having a wonderful summer but I don't want the year to end so quickly because I have a lot of stuff to still do before I move back home. AH!

Talking of time going fast spring break felt like it was only two days long. I did not do much the first couple days. I stayed at home, watched TV, and ate a lot of food. My dad and I had a daddy/daughter day together and went down to Michigan City and did some shopping. Such a good and long day with my dad! About half way through spring break I went back to college to meet up with some girls from the dance department to go to the American College Dance Festival Association. It was my second year going and this year we were in Chicago at Northeastern Illinois University. I had so much more fun this year mostly because I knew what to expect and how to go about which classes/workshops to take. (I'll post a link to the ACDFA website at the bottom so you can check it out!).

So we got back from the festival a day before classes so I took that day to go back home and relax and get my stuff together. I had to mentally prepare myself for going back just because I knew I had a lot to do that I had procrastinated on. Typical me though, I always until the last minute to finish or start anything. I am a very organized person and would prefer getting things done early but I work way better under a time crunch especially when it comes to writing papers.

Now that school is wrapping up I get to start planning about my summer job up at Blue Lake Fine Arts camp as a counselor. I cannot wait to be back there and interact with all the kids that will be coming.

How was everyone else's spring break? How much more of school does everyone else have? Anything you are looking forward to this summer?

Here is the link to the ACDFA conference I went to!

https://www.regonline.com/builder/site/Default.aspx?EventID=1259412

XOXO

ZMH